Most Leaders Don't Have Their Sh!t Together

As leaders face a challenge or task, we often put way more pressure on ourselves to be “perfect,” it sure as hell is one of my (many) hang-ups. This cult-like devotion we render to the super-stars (business, entertainment, science) completely skews the fact that most of them don’t have their shit worked out. 

Stressed Out?

Learn how get great results despite not being perfect.

While sitting down to write this, the question running through my head is, what gives me the right to provide any advice on this topic? It’s not like my life is without problems. As the saying goes, “therein lies the rub.” Pick any great piece of advice from leaders in any field, and the chances are the person who wrote it was not perfect themselves. 

The fact is that we all need to hear the same advice over and over again to put positive pressure behind our good intentions. Without it, we cannot resist the brain’s desire to find the path of least resistance.

Leaders Keep Trying

Tip #1 Keep trying, measure progress and keep going.

 We can all rhyme off the clichés about how Jordan missed so many baskets, or how Babe Ruth struck out so many times or that Thomas Edison failed so many times and how they kept on trying until they got it right.

 Does that mean they got it all figured out? I bet no. If you asked them, they probably all felt like they were not good enough at some level. So how do “successful” people do it? How do they get their shit together?

Leaders find a way to hang in there just a little longer, and they seem to tolerate the stress, criticism and ostracism long enough to get a positive result. This is not blind stubbornness we are talking about here, you need to have a vetted plan and evidence you are making progress; otherwise, you are reckless. This determination and resilience, over time, lead to breakthroughs often associated with faith, luck or as “good timing”.

Perfectionism is a cop-out!

Why does it have to be perfect? Why can’t it be good enough for right now? When you boil it down, isn’t that all you ever really have anyway? Yesterday’s great idea is forgotten today or is at best a footnote in history; anybody remembers Netscape or Bedazzled jeans?

In his book “The Slight Edge” author Jeff Olson points out that small incremental gains add up to significant changes. As entrepreneurs and executives, rather than swinging for the fences trying to get that big win, try something small and manageable. A good MVP (Minimum Viable Product) will provide a positive dopamine feedback loop for you and your team. It will give them the reinforcement they need to go for the next win. 

Tip #2 Go for Small Wins - Rinse & Repeat

Be an Authentic Leader

Sometimes (and by that, I mean often), the real problem is fear. The Fear of looking like a failure, like you are not good enough, often holds us back from trying to do the very thing that will lead to our success.

How to overcome that is to get real with yourself and others. There is a fine line between this kind of fear and plain unhealthy egotism. What draws most of us to people we admire is that, despite their many flaws, they continue to strive for excellence. They own their mistakes; they don’t make excuses or blame others for them. Connecting authentically is one of the keys to building trust with your team.

For a great book on this topic, I recommend Jako Wilnik & Leif Babin’s “Extreme Ownership.”

One technique that works for me is to look at projects like experiments; if they don’t work, like Edison, I can say, that’s one more way I know doesn’t work. If Edison took his many failed attempts, personally, his ego would have been crushed, and we probably would not even be talking about him today.

Tip #3 Be Real

Mistakes are part of the game.

Trust is in high demand but low supply. For leaders, trust is essential in building a high-performance team and a culture of leadership. Again, we are not talking about blind trust but measured trust. For example, if you say you trust individuals in your team but make rules that police them, you are not demonstrating trust.

You can trust people to behave in their own best interest. A practical leader will invest the time to learn what motivates individuals in their teams. Then they will link those motivations with the employee's performance and reward them accordingly.

Another trust hotspot is delegation. Not everyone needs the same kind of supervision when they have delegated a task. Endeavour to familiarize yourself with what level of follow-up each member of your team needs to ensure that they feel supported but not micro-managed.

Tip #4 Leverage Talents

Use what motivates your team.

If you have read this far, you may be wondering does all this EQ stuff pay off? According to surveys of revenues of public companies where employees report a high degree of happiness, their stock outperforms the market by a factor of three.

Even if you are a local business, not a Fortune 500 company, creating a healthy leadership culture will lower turnover, increase productivity, sales, and customer service.

Let me know in the comments how you feel about these ideas; the more conversation, the better!

Click here to book a FREE consultation today to learn more about how you can create a positive leadership culture in your own company or organization.

3 Ways Your Team Can Grow During COVID

Working from home has been stressful for many.

When we face challenging events on a global scale, such as the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Centre in 2001, we can't underestimate the amount of stress and anxiety people face. The daily reports of infections and deaths are a constant painful reminder like those repeated images of the towers being struck and later collapsing. Mental health resources are being pushed beyond their limits. Surveys put the amount of the population suffering from PTSD at as high as 11%. Despite these dire times, the economy, which provides for so much of our stability, must go on. What are employers and entrepreneurs to do in the face of such adversity? History has taught us valuable lessons about how not just to survive but to thrive under the toughest of circumstances. At the Leadership Journal, we do not subscribe to the "stiff upper lip" mentality; being resilient and having confidence is essential, but if you are suffering from symptoms of anxiety or depression, we urge you to seek professional medical attention. The following article provides leaders with some information and tools to help their teams thrive during adversity, such as the current COVID pandemic.

Take the time to reflect on your goals.

Step # 1 – Re-evaluate Your Circumstances

Psychologist Isaac Galatzer-Levy and his colleagues studied how people fare after dealing with extreme trauma such as the death of a loved one, severe injury or war combat and found that most, 65%, displayed what they call "resilient trajectory." Resilient trajectory means that they find a way to remain psychologically stable. They found that many experienced an increased sense of well-being after the trauma. How is this possible?

One of the reasons cited for this was that many people chose to reflect on the trajectory of their lives after a traumatic event. They will re-evaluate their priorities and adopt a more grateful outlook for their lives. Many will change their careers, go back to school, or reconnect with friends, family, and community. Often this will lead to greater feelings of purpose, social connection and even spirituality, this is called "posttraumatic growth," or PTG, by psychologists, and it's relatively common. In one meta-study of more than 10,000 trauma survivors, about 50% reported at least some PTG. We at the Leadership Journal are not saying that going through devastating trauma is the way to grow, and we are in no way demeaning those whose trauma has been too damaging to return to their previous lifestyle. The data suggests that by re-evaluating our current situation and letting a feeling of gratitude fuel our resolve to establish new priorities and achieve new goals, we can overcome adversity.

Focusing on our values can get us through tough times.

Step #2 – Revisit Your Values

Despite the hard-driving "boss" stereotype, most leaders care deeply for the people who work alongside them. Reports of leaders being affected by the stress of not caring for their employees is heart-wrenching. These employers' heart aching reminds me of a story where a start-up founder was facing a massive layoff of sixty percent of his staff. An unforeseen change in the market meant that there was not enough cash flow to maintain staff's current level. They would go bankrupt if he tried to "ride it out" and keep his total payroll. One of his investors told him he now had a choice, try and be a hero, let many people down, or see this as an opportunity and an obligation to take outstanding care of those he would be able to keep. This story may seem drastic, but it is a reality that leaders face all too often, and trust me, it is a horrible position to find yourself in. How does affirming your values in a situation like this help? 

In his work, psychologist George Bonanno and his colleagues surveyed people who were impacted by 9/11. They found that those who reported having a clear sense of purpose and autonomy were more likely to remain resilient, and this was reflected in a higher rate of morale amongst employees. By taking a good look at your values and resolving to live more fully into them, they found that survivors of trauma were more likely to do better. How can executives and entrepreneurs help their teams to do this work? Encourage your staff to write down what is important to them from a values standpoint, set the example and share your own values. Encourage discussion on the matter or, if needs be, bring in a facilitator to assist you. If you are wondering if this is a good investment, consider this. During a significant restructuring at a county hospital, leaders held workshops to help the remaining staff deal with the anger and trauma they were experiencing because of the layoff. They were encouraged to express themselves and take an active part in rebuilding the hospital better than before. What was the result? Morale shot up, absenteeism dropped, and productivity rose. By productivity, we mean that staff (nurses and doctors) made far fewer errors during patient treatments which meant fewer lawsuits and lower insurance premiums, in short, a payoff for everyone concerned.

Connecting on a human level helps to create a supportive culture.

Step #3 – Build Culture

In Madrid, following the terrible 2004 terrorist bombing, survivors were far more likely to fare better if they had access to a supportive community. In one study that lasted several weeks, researchers found that many Spaniards talked to their neighbors, friends and family more about their feelings. Those in the study who reported more empathetic sharing with those in their community experienced a greater sense of well-being and positivity. 

Connecting with colleagues and loved ones during COVID has been dramatically altered. Despite video conferencing technology's ability to keep us productive, it is no substitute for the kind of community building that occurs during interactions at the office. Something start-up success Tony Hsieh (of Zappos fame) called "collisions" these are the impromptu "got a second" meetings that allow people to connect and collaborate. Getting lunch or going for walks with colleagues to talk things out has a huge impact on fostering community at work. How can we compensate for this new reality? 

Thankfully leaders can compensate for the lack of physical connection we are experiencing now. Experts agree that building in time during scheduled meetings to connect socially is essential. Another way is to let your team know that it is okay to express emotions during meetings. Show them that it is okay to be feeling stressed or sad. Take the time to set up a teleconference that is not about work but about connecting, turning that camera on, letting people see your "not so perfect" living room, and talking about life. Remember, it is not what you say so much as how you make people feel that counts when making lasting and meaningful connections. For more tips on how to stay connected with your team, check this out from NRCan's website. 

Conclusion

We are currently living in one of those rare times in human history when we, as a human family, need to be at our best when it comes to leadership. Not just those with titles but especially those with titles need to help those around them evaluate their situation (life choices) and support them in the changes they may want to make in the light of current circumstances. Focusing on values-based leadership is always a wise decision and even more so now. Studies continue to show that connecting our vocation and our values creates a more productive and engaged workforce. And finally, take the time out to connect personally with those around you. It may be uncomfortable at first, dealing with so-called "messy feelings" that you may feel powerless not to have all the answers. You don't need to have all the answers; who does? You may feel like a fraud because you are feeling just as anxious on many levels as they are. Remember that being open to listen and experience the emotions of others will get easier over time. You don't have to share your feelings (although it helps create a bond of trust); just being a supportive listener can make all the difference.

 Special thanks to psychology professor Jamil Zaki of Stanford University, author of The War For Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World, for the research cited in this article.